Suicide Is Not The Answer (Rewrite)
by WondrousAngst
Summary: Having broken her promise with Mako, Korra fights between suffering and death. Asami is struggling to keep her company from falling into the depths of bankruptcy as she and Bolin investigate a pair of shifty individuals who separately capture their attention in an attempt to get closer to the Avatar.
1. Chapter 1

**Wassup? For whoever hasn't heard yet, I'm rewriting a bunch of my stories because I think the ones I am rewriting are terrible and** **amateur. Since I've been learning more and more about writing in English class, I didn't find a majority of my past writing to be acceptable by my new standards.**

 **Anyway, this particular story is going to be very different. I even have a user on this site helping me with OCs, character descriptions, general ideas, etc. As always, I hope you all enjoy it :)**

 **Disclaimer: The Legend of Korra and its characters are owned by Bryan Konietzko, Michael Dante DiMartino, Viacom and Nickelodeon Studios, and is animated by Studio Mir in collaboration with Studio Reve, and by Studio Pierrot. Please support the official release.**

 _ **Do keep in mind that what I write is considered a parody, which falls beneath fair use of American copyright law. I am entitled to defend my fan-work at any time it is challenged and threatened.**_

* * *

The cold metal of the revolver felt refreshing in Korra's mouth as it rested shakily against the burning hot flesh of her cheeks and tongue before it absorbed the heat. Her forefinger lingered unsteadily over the trigger as the drool-covered barrel rattled against her teeth. Her mind ran wild as her will to live fluctuated. Ending her suffering with a bullet through the head seemed enticing one moment, then pity for the poor cleaners who would have to scrub her brain matter off the wall seemed to halt her actions the next.

It was a selfish prospect, suicide, and Korra knew that. It was undeniable. She let fears constitute her life and tamper with her judgement. Every decision she made caused her to feel as if it wasn't even worth the trouble to make in the first place. The repercussions of her choices, as the Avatar and as a regular person, had her wondering if the shame and regret she felt was her own, her incarnations', or Republic City's.

The pressures of a new world overflowing with ideas of equality for all types of people after Amon's death weighed heavily on the Avatar's shoulders when it should have taken weight off. She had recently gotten her bending restored and, after much tribulation, began dating the person she loved, but there was still a feeling of emptiness that resided deep within her very soul, and in the recesses of her mind she could hear that emptiness personified.

 _"Your vacillation is truly disgraceful."_ A familiar male voice stated as if it were whispering directly into her left ear. She had heard this voice plenty of times before, but never so distinctly.

Korra gasped and dropped the gun, a string of drool running down the edge of her lips and staining her shirt. Her head jerked up in surprise, dull blue eyes widening in fear. She snapped her head over her shoulder and shifted her worried gaze about the dark room, looking for whomever had just spoken, but found no one.

 _"Cease your consternation, child, and please do proceed with the trepidation of your self-righteous absurdity, for it amuses me so."_ The voice goaded with an inflection of sick pleasure in its tone.

It was happening again, the voice who called itself _'Choroba'_ was talking to her.

"What do you want from me, Choroba?" Korra demanded, though it came out more as a weak question.

 _"Why must you inquire that of which you presently possess?"_ Choroba replied knowingly, the baritone of his disembodied voice and pretentious vocabulary sending shivers down her spine. _"Tell me what ails you, child, if that is what you so please."_

Korra fell to her knees and was still for a long moment, staring at the floor and thinking about all that had transpired over the course of six months. "I never thought things would get this complicated," she began to cry, "I never meant to hurt them. I love them so much, but I can't stand the constant reminder of what I did…"

 _"You weep for what you yourself have done, yet you do not weep for the companions you have wounded."_ Choroba responded in slight bemusement. _"You are quite self-regarding in the mourning of your own destruction. How shameful."_

"You don't know what I've been through!" Korra shouted as she twisted her fingers into her hair and dug her nails into her scalp until she drew blood. Violently shaking her head back and forth, she denied Choroba's accusations.

 _"If you are so insistent, then recall to me all that happened from the beginning."_

"Fine," Korra agreed, repositioning herself on the floor, "it all started after my kiss with Mako on Air Temple Island's east bluff; after I told him I loved him."

* * *

 _ **End of chapter one...**_


	2. Chapter 2

**Continuing from last chapter...**

* * *

Korra drew away from the kiss quickly, as if in slight shock. She avoided Mako's confused gaze and let a single tear slide down her cheek. The firebender attempted to wipe it away with his thumb, but the Avatar retracted from his touch. Taking a few steps back, she shook her head back and forth and let out a whimper.

"I'm sorry, Mako. I'm so, so sorry, but…" Korra trailed off, staring blankly at the ground she had torn up with her newly restored bending. "That's a lie – I lied…"

Mako took a step toward her, but she only moved away. "What's a lie, Korra? Whatever it is, I don't care." His voice was strained with concern as he held his arms wide open in a harmless gesture.

"I said I love you, but–"

"It's okay if you don't love me back, Korra." Mako cut her off and took a couple slow, cautious steps toward the crying girl. "I won't force you to."

"No, that's… that isn't it…" Korra began once more. At a loss for words, she allowed the firebender to approach her and take her shaking hands into his own heated palms. His close presence instantly calmed her nerves, if only enough to look into his warm amber eyes.

"I promise you, Korra, whatever it is you need to tell me, I won't be offended." He gave a small smile of reassurance, his fingers slightly tightening around her hands as a sign of sincerity.

Korra's heart was beating viciously against her chest. Sniffling as the cold winter wind sent shivers down her spine, she could see her breaths were coming rather rapidly, reminding her to control her crying.

"Mako, I…" she began with a shudder and a crack in her voice, "Mako, when I said I love you…" Pausing to breathe, she closed her eyes to think before continuing, "I was lying, because I don't think I really know what love is." The confession took weight off her, but it also opened a whole new can of worms.

Mako's eyes never left her own. A simple smile found its way to his lips and a chuckle escaped his throat. He rubbed his thumbs soothingly over the back of the southerner's hands and tersely exhaled steam through his nostrils to warm himself.

"Korra…" He began, the smile never leaving his face. "I want to give us a shot. We'll start out slow, is that okay?" It was an offer phrased in a way that could be refused and Korra knew that.

He continued when she didn't respond. "You'll take the lead and we won't do anything without your say-so, nor do anything that'll make you feel uncomfortable." His words were soft and gave Korra a chance to decline if she liked.

Five minutes passed without a response, which made Mako begin to worry. His grip tightened just a bit more around her hands. "You don't have to and I'm not gonna make you accept, but I lo– really like you and want to be with you." He caught his mistake but didn't miss a beat in his speech. "Look, I know things are tense and everything feels like it's moving way too quickly, but I don't want that to get in the way of your happiness. I want to do whatever I can to see you happy, so please… please try to be happy even if it hurts to let other people in to help."

With a long exhale to ponder, Korra lifted her gaze to meet the firebender's. The slightest of smiles graced her lips. "Okay." She said simply, the glaze of tears in her eyes clearing up. "Let's try it. But promise me we'll always be friends, even if we don't end up working as a couple."

The way Korra stated this, Mako didn't have a choice to refuse. However, no matter what the circumstance may be he would always be by Korra's side, to be her friend and give support, and he hoped Korra would be by his side the same way. They both have come too far to part ways now. The only thing that could break them apart would be death, which was a day much too far ahead to worry about at that particular moment.

"I promise I'll always be your friend. That's one thing that will _never_ change as long as I live." Mako said with the most genuine regard.

"Thank you, Mako." Korra said then leaned in to wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling the firebender into a tight, warm hug as she buried her face in the crook of his neck. "Thank you _so_ much."

"No problem." Mako replied and returned the hug with an equal amount of emotion, a content smile rising to his lips as he rested his head atop Korra's.

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 _ **End of chapter two...**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry for the late update, you guys. I got caught up in another rewrite and I was INCREDIBLY busy since final exams started at the beginning of June. I don't wanna bore you all with the details, but I feel obligated to explain considering my rather lengthy absence. I'm not forcing any of you to read it, _BUT_ please do so to better understand my family's situation and tight schedule. Hey, maybe some of you can even relate.**

 **Essentially I'm helping out my nuclear family with chores, errands, and shit like that because my mom is studying for the bar exam and we don't exactly have a particularly large budget at our disposal. My brother and I picked up what my mom usually does around the house, i.e. cleaning, cooking, helping my disabled step dad, etc. To further agitate the situation and create new worries, other members of my family are currently going through their own problems.**

 **My aunt, uncle and cousin live all the way across the country. A professor they knew well had passed away, so they attend the funeral in our area of New England. My aunt was offered his job. She accepted it after much, much thought, but still has misgivings about her decision mostly due to the fact that she and my uncle had very recently bought a new house and they and my cousin had only been living there for half a year. She was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Choosing a job closer to her family was more important to her than having bought a new house only to feel as if it was a waste of money, but she still doesn't know what to do.**

 **There's much more than what I've told you all, but I don't want to keep you. Plus, there are people in the world who are in situations ten times worse than mine, so I feel bad complaining about it.**

 **Anyway, enjoy the story and leave me some feedback.**

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 _"_ _Your supposed plight bemuses me, child. Do you regret the vow of companionship you and the Fire Nation boy established?"_ Choroba interrupted, confused by the events explained thus far that lead to the Avatar's current suffering.

"What upsets me isn't the fact I broke my promise with Mako," Korra began in a disappointed tone, "it's the fact I made a promise I wasn't sure I could keep at the time."

 _"_ _How very logical of you!"_ Choroba nearly shouted with a condescending laugh. _"Pledge your devotion to the man who loves you after admitting the uncertainty of your own love for him, only to disavow it with yet another lie. Absolutely brilliant!"_

Choroba really had a way of making the Avatar feel like complete and utter shit. He made her question her choices with an extreme sense of ignominy which left a haunting aura of self-loathing that encompassed her in a never-ending cycle of anxiety and despair. Korra hung her head down to rest in her hands and let out a quivering sigh, fresh tears welling in her bloodshot eyes.

"I didn't know what to do," she cried, "I couldn't think clearly. I felt threatened and exposed, and the only thing I could think to do at the time was to hide the truth from him… from him and everyone else."

 _"_ _Please enlighten me with that of which you speak."_ Choroba demanded, sounding very intrigued. _"In particular, how does this affect Miss Sato and the firebender's young brother?"_

"They were lost," Korra answered without hesitation, "they didn't exactly know what to think about me at that point. When I finally told the truth, Mako forgave me. Asami and Bolin were just as concerned as Mako, but they hadn't yet decided how they felt about me. We became friends, but I started pushing them away as my sanity began to dwindle. After that…"

 _"_ _Bite your quivering lip, child, and continue."_ Choroba ordered, becoming rather impatient.

"After that, I started hearing your voice." Korra continued despite the sadness that overcame her. "I stopped talking to everyone completely. Two days later I snuck into Asami's room, grabbed her gun, then ran away to Republic City's underground tunnels. Now here I am two hours after the fact, too much of a coward to pull the trigger."

 _"_ _You are not wrong, child, yet you are not right either."_ Choroba claimed kindly. His voice had changed, straying from deep and gruff to a soft alto, causing Korra to look up in disbelief.

"What do you mean?" She replied simply, yet thoroughly confused.

 _"_ _It takes great bravery to end your own life. However, the act of doing so is selfish and leaves your loved ones to mourn."_ The new voice explained, his voice then moving to speak directly into Korra's left ear. _"But you are the Avatar, the most powerful being in the known universe. If you were to die, strangers would mourn out of pure obligation then hope the next Avatar will be discovered as soon as possible."_

"Do you have a point, or are you just gonna make me feel like crap?" Korra interrupted in frustration.

 _"_ _While that is transpiring, your loved ones hold a genuine sadness in the wake of your death."_ The voice continued. _"Their grief is sincere, and despite the inevitability of their thoughts wandering from your memory, their minds will always hold that memory and their attention will never fail to wander back to you and how much you meant to them."_

"Wow…" A couple tears slipped down Korra's cheeks. "That was surprisingly wise of you, Choroba."

 _"_ _I am not Choroba, young Avatar."_ The voice stated. At this, the girl in question shifted her gaze up toward the sky for no reason in particular other than to look someplace else that wasn't the ground.

"Then who are you?" She asked, feeling the voice move from her left to her right.

 _"_ _Call me Rozkład."_

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 _ **End of chapter three...**_


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